Afraid You’re ‘Too Much’? Here’s What That Really Means (and Why It’s Bullsh*t)

If you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too sensitive, too intense, too emotional, too opinionated, too passionate, or just… too much – you’re not alone.
You learned to mute yourself in a world that praises politeness over truth and composure over connection.
But here’s the thing: you were never too much. You were just expressing. And now, maybe you’re finally ready to stop apologising for it.

Where the “Too Much” Story Starts

It usually starts early.
When you expressed anger – were you called aggressive?
When you cried – did someone say “you’re being dramatic”?
When you shared an idea – did someone tell you to “calm down”?

We internalise these messages, especially women and people raised in environments where emotional containment = survival.
By adulthood, that becomes:

“I’m scared to speak up.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“I always tone myself down in relationships.”
“I wait to see how people react before I fully show up.”

It’s not that you’re too much. It’s that you’ve been made to feel like you’re not allowed to be as you are.

The Psychology Behind Expressive Suppression

Research consistently shows that emotional suppression leads to:

Increased anxiety and depression (John & Gross, 2004; Hofmann et al., 2009)
Higher physiological stress markers (Gross, 2015)
Reduced relationship satisfaction and intimacy (Butler et al., 2003)

In contrast, healthy emotional expression is associated with:

Better mental health outcomes
Stronger boundaries
Increased self-worth
Greater relational authenticity (Saarni, 2011; Hargie, 2011)

Expressing emotion isn’t dramatic – it’s regulated, authentic, and necessary.
Suppressing it? That’s where the chaos brews.

What It Looks Like in Real Life

Clients often say things like:

“I feel like I’m too big for the room.”
“I go quiet when I feel things too deeply.”
“I hate conflict, but I’m boiling inside.”
“I laugh things off even when I want to cry.”
“If I really let myself speak, I think people would leave.”

If any of this hits? You don’t need more composure – you need permission.

Why Expressive Therapy Works

Person-centred expressive therapy makes space for the parts of you that were silenced. It says:

Come as you are. Cry, yell, create, move, laugh, stammer, whisper. There’s room for all of it here.

And research backs this up:

Expressive arts therapy improves self-expression, reduces distress, and strengthens identity integration—especially for those with trauma, shame, or emotional inhibition (Malchiodi, 2020; Koch et al., 2019).
Creative expression supports emotional regulation and neuroplasticity, helping shift long-standing emotional patterns (Hass-Cohen & Carr, 2016).
Person-centred environments reduce shame and encourage deep self-acceptance (Rogers, 1961; Elliott et al., 2013).

You don’t have to “say it right.” You just have to say it.
Or dance it. Or draw it. Or scream into a pillow if that’s what’s true for you.

You’re Not Too Much. You’re Just Unfiltered.

Here’s what happens when you stop shrinking:

You stop leaking anger in passive-aggressive ways
You stop people-pleasing to avoid abandonment
You build real, honest relationships
You finally feel seen – not just liked

Therapy is one place where your too much becomes your just right.

When to Seek Support

If you’ve been biting your tongue, managing your emotions like a full-time job, or feeling like your personality is “too big” for most rooms – therapy can help you reconnect with your authentic, unfiltered, expressive self.

You don’t have to earn space. You already deserve it.

💌 Want More Like This?

Subscribe to the [MIND&Co. newsletter – bottom of the page!] for therapist-written truth bombs, expressive healing tools, and zero tolerance for emotional repression.
Or contact us when you’re ready to take up space – without apology.

📚 References:

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry.
John, O. P., & Gross, J. J. (2004). Healthy and unhealthy emotion regulation. Journal of Personality.
Malchiodi, C. A. (2020). Trauma and Expressive Arts Therapy.
Saarni, C. (2011). The Development of Emotional Competence.
Koch, S. C., et al. (2019). Effects of Dance Movement Therapy and Arts Therapies: A Meta-Analysis.
Hargie, O. (2011). Skilled Interpersonal Communication.
Hass-Cohen, N., & Carr, R. (2016). Art Therapy and Clinical Neuroscience.
Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person.
Elliott, R., Greenberg, L., et al. (2013). Person-Centred and Experiential Therapies: A Meta-Analysis.